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, by Sarah Vallance
Download , by Sarah Vallance
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Produktinformation
Format: Kindle Ausgabe
Dateigröße: 1216 KB
Seitenzahl der Print-Ausgabe: 275 Seiten
Verlag: Little A (1. August 2019)
Verkauf durch: Amazon Media EU S.Ã r.l.
Sprache: Englisch
ASIN: B07MDBSVNK
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Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung:
3.0 von 5 Sternen
1 Kundenrezension
Amazon Bestseller-Rang:
#300.220 Bezahlt in Kindle-Shop (Siehe Top 100 Bezahlt in Kindle-Shop)
I picked up this book thinking it might be insightful and inspiring, since I've recently been diagnosed with a potentially chronic disease that leaves me with an uncertain future for the moment (I only mention this because it probably led me to have higher expectations than I otherwise would have). Unfortunately, instead of gaining perspective, I grew more and more frustrated with the author.My biggest issue with this book is that the author seems to be utterly immune to good advice. Of course it's admirable how much she's achieved against all expectations. However, this book felt more like a chronicle of her work and love life while googling every possible side effect of her brain injury and making herself paranoid of everything that might happen and everything people might think. Very rarely does she actually seek out medical professionals and for all her fear about the state of her brain doesn't manage to sit through an MRI scan or to listen to recommendations about how she should take care of herself.I don't know how many times she's told that regular exercise and moderate to no alcohol consumption would benefit her greatly, but instead of changing her habits she just keeps on googling, giving too much weight to IQ test results, and making herself miserable. This goes on for years and years, until she finally cuts back on alcohol (which she laments about very regularly) and meets her future wife who (again) encourages her to exercise and buys her a sports bra, which the author calls "the saddest present ever"... She is advised to see a psychiatrist 10 to 15 years before she actually seeks out therapy and blames everything on her TBI, whereas probably everyone with her family history should take care of their mental health with or without head injury.In the end, this book lacks self-reflection to the point where it difficult to finish reading. All it inspires is hope that the author will take better care of herself mentally and physically in the future.
WARNING FOR ANIMAL LOVERS. I’ve placed it at the bottom of the review so you can decide for yourself whether you want to read this spoiler.First the good stuff: In this memoir, the author, a lesbian who had recently come out, details her traumatic brain injury and its aftereffects. Thrown helmetless from a horse she should never have been on at the age of 31, she suffered a TBI without initially realizing what had happened. At first, she finds things in her home in odd places. Realizing her toaster is missing, she determines that someone has broken in and stolen it. That reminded me of my grandmother in her later years, who was forever convinced that someone had broken in and, for example, moved a butter knife from the kitchen to the table because she couldn’t remember having done it. That’s actually become something of a joke in my household; when I can’t remember having put something where it turns up “someone must have broken in!†But in the author’s case it is no joke.It takes other people to point out to her that she requires medical attention. To her credit she listens. What follows is the tale of her diagnosis and prognosis. What follows is the tale of her recovery, to the extent that she was able to recover.But the best part of this tale is not the story itself. The best part is the writing. The book is extremely well written; it is compelling. You can’t wait to get to the next sentence, the next page, to find out what happens next.WARNING: When her new girlfriend moves in with her, stressing out her two rescue dogs, the author puts down one of her dogs. This chapter just tied my stomach up in knots. This for me was a defining act, and one I’m not likely to get past.5 stars for the writing1 star for the dog death, seriously
This book reads like a diary that details "how I rehabbed my damaged brain on my own." The writer never seeks professional help (because she is hard-headed), blames her mother for not caring about her injury and situation, while acknowledging she has spent years "pushing her buttons," and puts a dog to sleep to appease her girlfriend. There's no deep thinking or self-awareness in this book and I gave up about halfway through (there was nothing left to learn, except I assume she completed her PhD.) I'm surprised this got past the editorial process (if there was one). You won't learn much about brain injuries, either.
I have to say that while other reviewers are slamming the author for euthanizing her dog - making her seem shallow and uncaring and her partner, Laura, as an unfeeling companion, the dog, people, was getting on the kitchen counter and having projectile diarhhea EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! In the sink, the toaster, etc. So it wasn't as simple as some of the reviewers made it seem. That said, I really felt there could have been alot of benefit if the author had sincerely sought help with her TBI and that piece might have helped other sufferers out there. She did not and it seemed to me that she blames a fair amount of dysfunctional history and her injury for things that might have been just her own behavior. As a occupational therapist who has worked with TBI, I thought her account was unhelpful to anyone seeking to understand either as a friend or someone experiencing TBI.
First, I have to take issue with an unthinking criticism that a few readers have leveled at this book. This is the story of a woman who loves animals; if you read the whole book, it's obvious -- she even loves the animal who was involved in her near-life-destroying injury. Ifyou look at those reviews below, you can see that Vallance does something hard and heartbreaking (no spoilers) about the third of the way through the book that apparently convinced those few readers that the author must be a cruel person who hates animals. In response, I'd say 1) read what the author has to say about that particular event and look at how it impacts her future decisions 2) read the damn book ***all the way through***. If you think that the awful episode is just author-being-horrible, then you haven't' read it nor been aware that autobiographers can leave things out to make themselves look better, and the fact that this author didn't leave this out tells you a lot about her story and about her love for other creatures.Second: As an M.D. I get tired of feel-good stories about near-death experiences or near-fatal illnesses that have a clean and easy arc involving a savior (a doctor, a treatment, God, a lover, whatever) and eventual reconciliation with the illness or to death via said savior.Serious illness and injury are not like that, and this book is not one of those easy-feel-good books. That's what makes the story so remarkable and worth reading. The book delves into the difficulties, the ups and downs, the periodic helplessness, the moments of hope that people with serious injury or illness go through as they accommodate and battle a recalcitrant body. This is the truth of serious illnesses, not a pretty and easy story.Vallance is honest about how hard her injury is and how TBI affects every part of her life (her love life, her family, her education, her career, her living situations). She's also very clear about how little we know about human neurology and how so much of what's done to help/manage TBI and other neurological illnesses (e.g. Alzheimer's) are piecemeal, guesswork, case-by-case, and trial-and-error. Similar to certain cancers, we don't have a simple, easily-identifiable cause, or an obvious mechanism and progression of illness. Having to learn to live with that, to put a life together around something so life-changing, to do what you think is right to retool your brain -- it's one of the hardest things a person can do -- and harder still when it's unclear what your long-term prognosis is.Vallance tells this story honestly, but never at the expense of the story. The book is beautifully written, factual information gently added to the recounting of her adult life, so that anyone interested in what it's like when your brain changes on you will find both a moving story and information on what we know about TBI.Intelligent, thoughtful, and emotionally honest, this is one of the best books I've read this year.
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